[Accidentally Posted To Journal | | Viewable To All]

TO: Dorothea (dorotheamuffins@chelseacars.net)
FROM: Rob Fellows (rfellows@chelseacars.net)
SUBJECT: To-Do List

Dorothea, in my absence, due to being sucked into a particularly uncreative episode of The Twilight Zone, please have the following tasks accomplished upon my return:

• Clean the break room. Use disinfectant spray and the kind that kills transmitted infection. Remember, all horizontal surfaces. Also, particularly comfortable-looking wall areas. I trust your discretion.
• Buy a new coffee machine. This shouldn't be difficult, you bought a new one last month, too. Really, everyone at the office appreciates the contributions.
• Make more of those muffins. Remember, stick to one's skill set.
• Change the locks, the last few were too easy to pick. Look at me, trusting your discretion again.
• Last, but certainly not least, buy some more low-cut blouses. We're selling cars, here, not rosary beads.

Your absolutely adored and venerated employer,
Rob Fellows

[Voice Post | | Accidentally Posted To Journal With Phone]

Niko Leandros, if I have to hear your voicemail one more time, I am going to start pitying your ears; really, there must be a point wherein the polyphonic rendering of Kung Fu Fighting becomes tiresome. Phones are not just vibrators, you're aware? They can also be used to communicate with people, especially in dire times of need. Yes, I, too, was simply shocked when I learned this.

Now, Niko. Dire times of need? See: about to escape this infernal hellhole? There's a portal in my closet, you idiot, where are you? Off getting your-

[The sounds of something large and flapping-- and barking?-- comes in through the window.]

Ah. Yes, it does appear to be closing. The portal. We'll have to... All right.

Do you have to bring the dog, Ishiah?

Oh, it's still- [Click.]

[/Voice Post | | Accidentally Posted To Journal With Phone]

[ooc And it's off to NYC. Say your goodbyes, I loved playing with every one of you ♥]

Honestly. Is it midnight yet? Spending the entire day smelling of milk wasn't particularly my intent. And before anyone feels it their mission in life to point out that I could have simply avoided this grievous injustice done to my hair and completion, I'll point out that only barbarians do not wash themselves, and after a rather strenuous night directly preceding it, I'd've liked to bathe. But, no showers of milk. And who can go out in such a state? Thus, those grieving my absence, blame this curse.

An entire day wasted. I'd planned on getting a few things done.

Namely, is there any need or market for automobiles, here? Any at all? I'm aware the general populace tends to go without; would the vox populi prefer it otherwise? Yes? No? Your opinions on the manner are something of a needed commodity. I'm not going to lower myself to making a poll; do speak up.

[Voice Post | | Accidental]

[Robin's voice is slurred, mumbling to himself and anyone around, as it wanders into the path of the computer's recording device. He's been fiddling around with the thing for the past few hours, in between drinks, he only now finally gets it to work, if not on the setting he'd wanted it.]

--'ll burn a hole in the- in your carpet, you featherbrained...

[Some chattering too far away from the mic to distinctly record. And then some scrambling. A thud. Robin hisses in pain-- he just stubbed his toe.]

Well, then, it'll stain it. Close the win- close it.

...[Some shuffling,] As I was saying, you're all ri-ridiculous. There's a giant volcano in your back yard, shouldn't there be some sort of attempt at a mass... a mass. Sunday Mass, it's... A mass evacuation!

If you forget from history, you're doomed to... Don't you know... Did everyone forget?

[A substantial pause before Robin is heard again, this time, his voice is fainter and farther away:] This is a mockery, you know. It-... [Flump. Is that an onomatopoeia? It is now.] Your hair smells nice.

[/Voice Post | | Accidental]

( ooc blah blah blah )

...Oh, for the love of Romulus' hairy, pimpled-... Yes, well. I suppose this is as good a time as any to verify the above statement.

That being said, which one of you is charitable enough to provide enough alcohol necessary for me to forget this entire eyesore of a day thus far? Hmm?Come now, stand and be counted.

Darling? Dearest? Shortstuff? You're supposed to be the wife, why don't you make me breakfast? You know, be the mothering sort. Practice what you preach, or some such.

I will be lounging. Bring it out to me if you so require, I'll be out on the terrace. You know, the one I bought with my finances? Because I don't owe benefactors mysterious funds? Not that that factors into our relationship, honey.

Like I said, lounging. Yesterday was exhaustingly spent, writing you all of those checks, I'm taking the day off to ...nature watch. The view around here is fantastic.

Hobgoblin.

[This was going to hurt. Whoever'd said 'no pain, no gain' deserved to have a taste of their own medicine. Wounded leg and all, Robin jumps down from an opened ceiling tile, landing in a way to disguise that weakness. In front of him, Cal and... a mirror image of Robin. The Hobgoblin. Robin goes to rush him, his Roman blade resting ambiviolently against the other's neck.]

Long time no see. I thought you were dead. Justly dead.

( non-ic cut for length | enjoy my semi-purple prose. )

You can go out, dancing
And I'll write about you, dancing without you
And I'll shed a tear between my legs

When you were here, I missed you
Now that you're away, I'm out there without you
And I shed a tear between my legs

...Right. Yes, so, if any fuzzy little thing living under a rock didn't yet know, it seems to indeed be some new curse. Lovely, this is just how I wanted to spend my time today. Then agai-

Again, I'm afraid of one thing,
Will I walk away from love knowing nothing,
wearing my heart between my legs?

Never mind, this is legitimately torture.

(  Omake | | Dream Sequence  )

(  Private | | Unhackable  )

Have none of you ever seen snow before? Yes, I am aware it's in July, of all times, but there's only so long a time one can remain incredulous to falling pieces of ice, yes? I worry for the collected intelligence of the general public, really, I do.

Really, if snow is the biggest and brightest thing of you day, I would worry. Don't you people have lives to get to? Errands, something? Surely you've sometime more interesting than snow to gab about.

...Surely there must be some gossip someone can entertain me with until the blizzard subsides.

[ooc Off to work! Will catch tags when I get back ♥]

Do you know how long it's been since I last went out, to some public venue such as... the park, or the town square, and sat down and did some people-watching? Went out amongst the adoring public for simply the joy of being near the public, graced all of you with my shared presence simply for the sake of gracing you? Just lounged about outside of my apartment?

Far too long. I plan to remedy this.

Who will be joining me? Bring drinks.

[ooc Also, can has phone.]

Contrary to popular belief and ubiquitous rumor of mysterious origin, no, the two love b-... star-crossed lovers, short and short-tempered have not, indeed, run off to elope. I know, I, too, was shocked that this was not the case; what other reason could there be to leave me all by my lonesome in the apartment? I, personally, considered it a gift of the long-overdue variety, thanking me for my passionate effort in the cause of their complete and total romantic hopelessness. I try, really, but you know what they say about horses, water, and leading them to the stuff.

Regardless, they've returned with all sorts of heraldry and odd looks tossed upon my person (I'm wounded, really) so, my fellow citizens, I ask you: Please stop sending blenders to the apartment. They didn't get married.

If you find yourself disappointed by this fact as I myself am, feel free to cry on my shoulder.

[ooc I've been mia for a bit, so I wasn't able to mention that Robin's flatmates all went out for a canon update recently. AF crew? Feel free to notice that Robin's taken great pains to make sure your rooms were still well lived-in, even in your absence. Crumbs and... other substances found in the beds is a minimum of damage done.]

[Voice Post]

Terribly glad I got rid of that useless cat. It really would be... inconvenient, otherwise.

I wonder if anyone will be wearing clothes after they change back. We'll find out soon enough, won't we? I, personally, have much vested in this highly intellectual pursuit.

And, by that token, is Holly still trapped inside her helmet?

[/Voice Post]

[ooc AND THEN THERE WAS MASSIVE BACKDATING.]

Holly? Trouble? Whoever is poking around the apartment? Hold my calls. I'll be... dealing with some business, today.

I'll be out.

All day.

It's very important business. Paramount, I would say.

Those of you who need to reach me, you know who you are, and how you can. That is, if I don't... reach you first.

( ooc explanation :D )

Oh, oh Zeus, excuse me while I never stop laughing. What's next, I'll be sainted? For my altruism? I think I'll do without the selfless martyrdom, thank you.

Holly? You're in this horrific little bunk bed hovel, too, aren't you? Let's have a slumber party.